A rare character defined by his colossal mass and wealth of useless information which covers every topic that you don't want to hear about. Talents include reciting entire URL addresses and quoting from 'How I Met Your Mother'. Despite his lack of ability with maths, Mikes in general are renowned for their superior skill in monitoring debts to the exact penny. Talents do not include knowing how to shit properly, a basic human function he seems to struggle with more than showering. This leads to a smell so pungent it could kill the smell of a dead animal, as well as said dead animal - which will probably have shit smeared on it, in the same fashion as his door/bathroom wall/bathroom door handle/everything in bathroom apart from bowl. Eating habits include everything that is processed and chemically engineered, although the species of Mike may occasionally advance to feasting upon 'peanut butter and jelly sandwiches', one of the many Americanisms he has adopted. Mikes may be falsely recognised as slugs, a species that share similar qualities with Mikes; however, it is unlikely that one may spot a Mike as they rarely emerge from the dark dank recesses of their beds. There are several matings calls used by Mikes, which vary from the 'How I Met Your Mother' theme tune to the sound of the fridge door opening; more often than not, it is the sound of an unsuspecting taxpayer opening his/her wallet, or withdrawing money from a cashpoint which attracts a Mike to a prospective victim.
Person 1: Hey Mike, hows thi..
A Mike: YOU OWE ME £2.74!!!!!

Person 1: ings?

Person 1: I laughed so hard I shat myself
Person 2: Yeah it was so funny I Miked everywhere.

Person 1: Urgh, I had such a Mike day today
Person 2: What did you do?
Person 1: Played dead for 14 hours.
dari Mike's housemate Sabtu, 01 Juni 2013
One of the most annoying and known trolls on Yahoo! Answers in the Polls & Surveys and occasionally the Religion & Spirituality section. He is known to answer every question with Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in cap locks. He asks multiple questions about a sex tape the three were in with Miley Cyrus and asks where he could find it and how it's possible that they all had sex at the same time. He would often ask questions saying that Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro are at his house making too much noise making it impossible for him to fall asleep. He also often asks questions asking if Jack, Al and Robert are the best members of the band One Direction.
Mike's most asked questions:

"Where can I find the sextape of Miley Cyrus and Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro?"

"Is Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro the best members of One Direction?"

"Did Miley Cyrus like it when Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro had sex with her?"

"Is it true that Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro threw that water bottle at Justin Bieber at that one concert?"

"Who took Miley Cyrus' virginity first? Jack Nicholson or Al Pacino or Robert De Niro?"

"Robert De Niro farts in Jack Nicholson's and Al Pacino's soup?"

Mike's most popular answers:

"JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO AND ROBERT DE NIRO SAID YOU WERE BLACK!!!"

"JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO SAYS YES... ROBERT DE NIRO SAYS NO"

"JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO ARE MEANIES... ROBERT DE NIRO IS ONLY A LITTLE MEAN BECAUSE HE FARTS ON MY FACE BUT STILL HE IS LESS MEAN SO THATS NICE"

"DID YOU KNOW MILEY CYRUS HAD A SEX TAPE WITH JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO AND ROEBRT DE NIRO?"

"ROBERT DE NIRO FARTS IN JACK NICHOLSON'S AND AL PACINO'S SOUP AND MINE TOO"
dari AN0NYMOVZ6912 Kamis, 05 Juli 2012
A greeting of Australian dockers to all foreigners. Because they usually do not give a fuck to their real names.
- Hello Mike, what the fuck are you doing here?
- Hello Sir, I'm looking for the port's entrance

-Hello Mike, how's going?
-Hello Sir, but my name is..
-I don't give a shit how is your momma calling you
dari Travelller Rabu, 21 Desember 2011
mikes is short of micrograms, used when talking about how much acid you taken or how good the acid is.
1)Duude i was soo messed up last night i most of takin 200 mikes of acid.

2)
guy 1: hey man you want some acid?
guy 2: ya dude,is the shit any good?
guy 1: ya man its owsley shit, its 300 mics a hit
dari bongzilla420 Senin, 22 Oktober 2007
A pathetic, sad, lonely guy who over-compensates for his short stature by endlessly spewing word excrement out of his mouth every chance he gets. Mike is an insincere, insecure narcissist who acts like he is very intelligent and caring, but really is just stupid. And he can't get girls because he's fat and ugly. The only redeemable features of him are his decent dick and his extensive list of things that are easy to make fun of.
"Hey that guy over there looks OK I guess"
"No..he totally looks like a Mike. He is so short! And he won't stop talking to us.."
dari todd fark Sabtu, 06 Oktober 2012
A really nice guy. But he has the WORST DICK EVER. It tastes and smells like shit. That is all.
"I had a threesome last night. But one of them was a Mike!"
"Eeeew!"
dari shiiiittbitches. Sabtu, 31 Desember 2011
A sexy, egotistical man who is more in love with himself than the girlfriend he's been with and loved for ages. A narcissus but with good reason. An intelligent man with a nice big cock. The guy you'll fall madly in love with but no matter how much he says he's yours, you'll never have his complete and total love and commitment because there is one other person he's committed to and that's himself. And no matter how much he might try to make it seem like you come first, he'll always have that bit of apathy to you, that bit of not caring what you have to say. A Mike is a man who likes to be the one talking and has no regard for your words, except for on very few occasions. Despite all this, he is everything and anything you've ever wanted.
Marianna was madly in love with this guy; this guy said he loved her back but never completely showed his love for her like his love for himself. This guy was a mike.
dari Marianna's Persona Senin, 30 Maret 2009

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