Ah, Linux,
The April fool's joke of the computing world and an embarrassment to the open-source philosophy. The brat that hasn't learned to shut the fuck up and do something more productive to its cause. The hacking tool used by script kiddies who think they are "l337 haxors" after typing 10 lines of code in Pearl. A prime example of how group-think leads to less productive activity. Communism in electronic form. Now Im sure we all have by now heard the same old cliches about old Tux being the best thing since sliced bread, but eventually, they just beg to be examined a little more, as follows.

1) Linux is free.

And I'm the king of Peru. If it really is free, then the Linux sites would have no pop-up windows and ads asking for donations. Getting Luddix may be "free", but having to end up buying up to $200 worth of new hardware just to run a computer at 1/20 the speed of Windows 95 throws the whole concept of free out the door.

Also the "Free as in Beer" line is pure bullshit, because the can of Budweiser I got at the store cost me $1.39, and it costs money to get whole-grain wheat flour to create home-brewed alcohol.
And no, dumb-ass, speech is not free either. If you don't believe me, try going up to a cop and string some four-letter words in his face, nd see if he will respect your freedom of speech.


2) Linux is fast and does not contain bloat-ware like Micro$hit Windoze.

If you think Microsoft Windows is bloat-ware, you haven't tried Red Hat, ELX, or SusE, because THOSE define bloat-ware. Up to 7 CDs full of useless junk right there. And Luddix is fast alright, compared to the time it takes for Neptune to circle around the Sun. And you won't believe how much RAM a typical Lunix distribution gobbles up. Better make sure you have an extra 512MB stick of RAM handy. (Note: If you want to see a fast operating system that's not Linux, check out BeOS at www.bebits.com. Now THAT, my friend, is fast!)


3) Linux gives you choices.

That would have been fine if there were 4 distributions. Hell, that would have been okay if there were 9 distros. But 300 distros is fucking insane, especially if 293 of them suck shit through a straw.

4) with Linux, you have a wide variety of GUIs and applications.

Yeah, too bad they are all poorly-designed, and look like ripoffs of anything that Microsoft or Apple makes. Not to mention, having to type 30 fucking lines of code just to get the program to open is pure joy.


5) 2005/2004/2000/1999/1998: The Year of the Linux Desktop.

The year came and went, Windows and MacOS logos are still flashing on the screens of those who are not blessed with the faggotry of geekism. Where oh where did Tux go? The kernel that every computer "expert" hyped would be the killer of Micro$oft? Surely Walmart can't hold up the weight of the Linux community with its $300 Linspire boxes (which end up being a dirt cheap way of installing Windows on a new computer) Looks like the Lin-zealots lied to us again, which is typical of those bastards. And it's also hard to believe that it's been over 10 years, and the fucking penguins STILL haven't created anything that even Apple would give a shit about.


6) Linux is more secure and easier to improve than Windoze.

Until the terrorists, cultists, and malicious coders get their hands on Lunix. If they haven't already. After all, it is open-source, and by definition, open-source means that everybody gets to contribute their input into the kernel.


7) The Linux community is willing to lend a helping hand to those not familiar to the kernel.

If a helping hand means,
(a) telling grandma to RTFM and
(b) posting 9 spelling-error-filled pages of insults, death-threats, and jokes about gay sex/male body parts/fairy-tale creatures on a Linux message board because she politely asked how to get her sound card to work,
then surely the Luddix community is the most generous group in the world.


8) Linux is more stable than Windoze

I like that, plus the fact that you can't run anything without 200 dependencies (see dependency) or 30 lines of code.


Now that we're done breaking down the crap, here are some things the Lunatix community has no choice but to fix, if they ever want old Tux to be on more than 0.0003% of all desktops.

1) GET RID OF X! It is a waste of resources and useless as a desktop GUI. At least the guy who created Damn Small Linux had the right idea, and as a result, created a distro that actually isn't bloat-ware.

2) Get rid of all those useless fucking window managers and themes. They add more bloat to the system.

3) Get rid of the snobs, l337 haxors, and religious extremists in your midst. If you ever wonder why nobody is using Linux, it's because these bastards are the loudest and rudest of the bunch.

4) NO MORE TARBALLS OR COMPILES! The software should already be compiled BEFORE it is released, because that's just pure fucking laziness and the programmer deserves to be hanged.

5) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that programs don't need 200 fucking dependencies just to work.

6) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that it doesn't require a 5-hour compile whenever an updated of a text-editor/MP3 player/Tux-Racer game is installed.

7) GET THE FUCKING HARDWARE TO WORK! If the "Winmodem" works on a FreeBSD box and a BeOS box with generic drivers, then there is no excuse for the modem to not work under Linux.

8) Standardization is good, especially when it comes to file packaging and installation.

9) Get rid of all the useless fucking distros that are clogging up the Internet. Nobody is going to use 290 of them anyway, so you might as well just band together and focus your talents and resources (and MY donation money) on the 10 most used distros.

10) Make the emulation PERFECT! If WINE promises to emulate Windows programs, then it damn well better emulate every piece of Windows-compatible software sold at Office Depot or Electronics Boutique. Failure to do so is unacceptable and will result in the purchase of a real OS (Windows XP).
If Average User Joe has to spend 5 hours downloading a 3-CD Linux distro from your crappy servers or end up shelling out $50 to $180 at Best Buy for the same distro because (a) the servers are not available or (b) don't exist, then Joe expects that distro to (1) install flawlessly, (2) work right out of the box, and (3) support all his hardware. If said Linux distro violates any of the three expectations, then don't expect Linux to succeed.
dari Tirk Dogg Senin, 28 Februari 2005
It's STILL not worthy enough to be used for the desktop at this point. You'd think that during the years after the Linux "community" made the fatal mistake of throwing their unfinished slop onto the retail shelves in 2000, they would have learned from their mistakes, completed the damn kernel, made Linux easier to use for Average Joe, and worked together to make a COMPLETE OS that includes support for "winmodems" and hardware that's sold at your local electronics store. Unfortunately, that is not the case because instead we have over 200 half-assed distros and the same old religious sermons that the Linux loons made in 1999.
So Windows costs $199.99 at the retail stores and I have to memorize a 16-digit code. At least unlike Linux, it installs flawlessly, is compatible with pretty much all of the hardware on the market, and it gets all my work done efficiently.

I will try out Linux after the geeks drop dead from fighting amongst themselves and no less than five quality distributions remain.

Year of the Linux Desktop my ass.
dari true Minggu, 25 April 2004
Wait while it compiles at the speed of light and windows users actually do things
Compiling a linux program takes longer then a windows crash and reboot...
dari D Rabu, 14 Januari 2004
n. An OS that is awesome for geeky programmers. For everyone else, it is much too difficult to install and use.
Linux will always have a small installed base on desktop computers, because the only way it can become mainstream is if it loses the difficulty of installation and use. The only way to attain that is to completely change what linux is.
dari truth teller Senin, 29 Desember 2003
Many people think it is an OS, but it is actually just a clever trap devised to capture and mark elitist morons so normal people can avoid them.
"Nice to meet you, what operating system do you use?"

"Linux because it is so stable and it runs everything better then eveyrthing else and it is perfect and better then any other OS"

"Goodbye!"
dari TheDog Minggu, 27 November 2005
If you want to see how crappy Linux is without having to waste your time installing it on your computer, try out a live CD of Knoppix or SLAX (Slackware-Live).
I agree with the few people who were brave enough to post the truth about Linux. It is just the same poorly-coded turd that the geeks tricked us into trying out a few years ago, only this time with more colorful GUIs.
dari normal person Selasa, 04 Mei 2004
A operating system whose only superiorities versus Windows is its server stability and ability to be altered by its code, because its open-source software. Windows cannot be altered like this because learning C++, then butchering Window's code is illegal.

Windows is used by a common computer user who has no interest in running gaming/website servers or being a programmer. Windows is much more compatible, almost everything except Unix/Mac software. Windows is also made by capitalist pigs governed by a monsterous irresponsible behemoth called Bill Gates who failed to completely debug its software in the first place and only does something when somebody personally mails him a death threat.
The linuxers program, and the Windowers use. Enough said. Maccers, I don't know, don't care, only Space Command units use them for their ability to do math better than our common shit PCs.
dari Chang Tan Minggu, 26 Oktober 2003
A kernel made by Linux Torvalds; a product of consumption of an hilarious amount alcohol.
<oppstoppersnopp>Linux is the best
<femilh>STFU, or I'll rape your mother with a Hitlerjügend-knife
<oppstoppersnopp>But Linux is the best!
<femilh>No, BSD is the best.
<oppstoppersnopp>No
<femilh>Yes
<oppstoppersnopp>No
<femilh>Yes
<oppstoppersnopp>OK ALREADY! BSD RULES THE FSCKING EARTH!
dari Mr. Charles Beastie IV.IV Selasa, 17 Mei 2005

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